


Only You

by EzzyDean



Category: Free!
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 09:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1261192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had gained so much upon joining Samezuka Academy that even now with his heart still in pieces over the finality of his now ended crush he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_You’re the one person I want to talk to the most but you’re also the one person I don’t get upset with when they ignore me._

_I want so much to be with you that being beside you, even fleetingly, is enough for me._

_I can wait for you to see me._

 

Ai reads the words hastily scribbled in his diary and takes a deep breath.  Today was the day.  It was his last chance.

 

“Matsuoka-senpai, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for awhile.  I’m pretty sure I already know the response, but I have to say it.”

“Ai?  What’s up?  You haven’t called me that in a while.”  Rin’s smile is easy and warm in ways that Ai never would have imagined it could be when they had first met.  The scowl thrown his way when they were introduced as roommates was a far, far cry from this smile.

Just hearing his name in Rin’s voice is almost enough to make him falter.  Just being able to grab little moments like these is surely enough.  It’s been enough for the last year, after all.  Then Rin shifts and the halo of light ringing his head is gone and Ai shakes his thoughts back into order.

He has to do this.  It has to be now.

“You see I like you.  A more than friends kind of like.  And I know you probably don’t even see me anywhere near that but I just had to tell you because you’ve graduated and you’re leaving and I probably won’t see you anymore and I just.  I just have to try, right?”  The myriad of feelings crossing Rin’s face is a sight to behold and when his expression finally comes to rest on a fond smile Ai feels his heart leap for just a moment.  

Just one little moment where his heart is practically in his ears - it might as well be in his ears since all he can hear is the pounding of his blood rushing through his veins - and then he lets the realization sink in.  Although… was it really a realization when it was something he more or less expected all along?

“Ai.  You’re my friend, but-” He doesn’t let him finish.  Can’t let him.  He was expecting it but that doesn’t really soften the blow any.

“It’s ok.  Really it is,” Ai adds when Rin doesn’t look convinced.  “I just wanted to tell you before you left is all.  Sorry for being selfish.”  That smile is back.  The sweet one that makes his eyes soften and the edge of his lip is quirked ever so slightly and Ai’s knees feel a little weak at the familiarity and gentleness in it.  Even at his worst Rin had still treated Ai as gently as he could.

“Ai, you’re anything but selfish and I don’t know how I would have made it here without you.”  Then Rin hugs him and for a moment Ai lets himself forget that Rin isn’t in love with him, doesn’t reciprocate his feelings.  Because part of him feels at home in that hug.  

But it’s not his home and it can’t last and all too soon he’s smiling up at Rin and telling him that he hopes he can continue to follow his dreams and that they can still be friends and that truly it’s okay and he appreciates that Rin listened to him.  Then he watches as Rin leaves, pausing to look over his shoulder and wave at Ai before walking through the school gates for most likely the last time.

And then Ai is alone under the trees watching as the sun shines and the clouds drift overhead and the world moves on like he hadn’t just been crushed.  He doesn’t go back to his room.  It’s far too empty and unfamiliar without Rin’s clothes and books and stuff lying around.  Instead Ai heads down to the pool and slips in.  He’s alone today and that’s okay.  He lets the water hug him, caress him, erase his worries with each cool wave and splash.

A few hours later he drags himself out and goes for a jog and winds up just hopping on a train and heading to a town a few towns over and wanders around that town for a (couple) few hours.

Now it’s three A.M. and he’s standing in front of an apartment door with his hand raised, poised to knock.  After a moment he does, instantly regretting it because it’s three A.M. and he didn’t call and what is he even doing here anyway?

The door opens and he steps inside without a word and as soon as he hears the door shut he breaks down, sobbing.  He feels arms surround him and pull him into a tight hug as he’s maneuvered onto a couch.  He doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything, really.  He had always kind of known what the answer would be…

But after looking up to Rin for so many years and falling so hard for him when they came to Samezuka he just had to try, right?  He repeats the question out loud when he can finally catch a breath and speak without hiccuping halfway through.

"You wouldn’t have known for sure otherwise."  Was the quiet response.  After a few more minutes he rubs his face on the shoulder he had been gently pressed against and looked up with watery eyes.

"I’m sorry."

"What for?"

"I never even brought you an official house-warming gift, Captain Mikoshiba.  And here I am showing up at a very inconvenient hour."  The hearty laughter was nearly as comforting as the arms he was still wrapped in and the smile warmed his heart a little.

"Only you, Nitori, would worry about something like that at a time like this.  Besides I told you.  You’ve always been welcome to my home, even if it’s just the dorm room across the hall, if you need me."  Ai snuggles into the warmth of his former captain’s chest a little longer.  

He had gained so much upon joining Samezuka Academy that even now with his heart still in pieces over the finality of his now ended crush he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of it.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s about three months into his third and final year at Samezuka when he finally drops the “captain” title from Mikoshiba’s name.  It happens one night when Ai is stretched out on the Mikoshiba’s couch, eyebrows scrunching up as he frowns at his textbook.

 

“Captain Mikoshiba?” He asks, leaning backwards to look into the small kitchen.  “Can I have something to drink?”

“Nitori,” the other sighs from his spot at the end of the couch, “I’ve told you hundreds of times you don’t have to ask.”  Mikoshiba watches as Ai rolls off the couch and rummages through his fridge.  “Why do you still call me captain?”

“Because you’re Captain Mikoshiba.”

“I see.  I guess I’ll always be Captain Mikoshiba to you, huh?”  Ai turns around with a bottle of water and pauses for a moment at the look on Mikoshiba’s face.  It was an almost sad smile and it sets off a twinge of familiarity that he shoves to the back of his mind for the time being.  When Ai sits back down Mikoshiba ruffles his hair fondly and turns his attention back to the book he had been reading.

A couple hours later Ai shoves his textbooks and papers back into his bag and slips into his shoes.  “Thanks for letting me come over and study.  I just get too stressed at the dorms sometimes.”  He smiles up at Mikoshiba, he’s grown a couple inches since his first year but the other man is still plenty taller than him.  At one point he had thought that so many people being taller than him would have bugged him but with Rin and Mikoshiba it had always been kind of comforting.

Thoughts of Rin invade his mind and he forces them down before they can overwhelm him.  “Ah, goodnight, Mikoshiba.”  He hurries out the door and it’s not until he’s nearly asleep in his bed that he realizes he dropped the honorific from Mikoshiba’s name.

And he never picked it back up.

 

It’s another three months later that Mikoshiba calls him Ai for the first time.  It was after a small swim competition between some of the clubs in the area, mostly just an unofficial way for the teens to meet other swimmers and have some fun.  Iwatobi is there, of course, and after Ai wins his race Nagisa and Rei meet up with him to congratulate him.

“Ai-chan!  Congratulations!”  The blonde gives him a hug that nearly topples him and he smiles politely as Rei approaches.  “You’ve really improved your times like crazy since we first met you.  Seems like forever ago now!”  After Rin, Haru, and Makoto had graduated it had been left to Ai and Nagisa to set up joint Samezuka-Iwatobi practices.  Something that both teens enjoyed doing.  It was always nice to test your skills against people you don’t swim with every day.  Nagisa’s eyes focus in on something behind Ai and he lets out a shout of surprise.  “Haru-chan!  Mako-chan!  Did you see our races?”  And then he’s gone and Rei gives Ai a soft “Nice race” before he follows after.

Ai doesn’t even get a chance to turn to watch Nagisa’s reunion because a warm arm is dropped across his shoulders and he’s pulled into a now familiar hug.  He never would have imagined Mikoshiba being such a hugger when he first met him.

“Great job!  That was an awesome race.”

“Thanks.”  He grins up at Mikoshiba and then falters.

“Congratulations, Ai.”  Ai turns and faces Rin, unconsciously gripping Mikoshiba’s sleeve behind his back, and just stares.  He hadn’t really ever expected to see him again and it hurts.

“Thanks, Rin-senpai.”  He hates the way his voice almost cracks and the way his fingers dig even tighter into Mikoshiba’s jacket sleeve and when Rin steps forward to give him a hug it’s awkward and strange and he wishes the ground would swallow him up right there.

“I was about to invite Ai out for a celebratory meal.”  Mikoshiba’s voice is steady and sure behind him and Ai almost blushes because realizes he is still holding onto his jacket.  Rin notices, of course, and gives Mikoshiba a questioning look.  “Should we make it a reunion of sorts?”  He gestures to where the others are standing and watching.  Rin shrugs and calls the others over.

 

“It’s good to see that he wasn’t too bad off after I graduated.”  Rin leaves the exact details open.  If Mikoshiba didn’t know Ai confessed Rin wasn’t going to say anything specific.

“No.  Actually.  He was crushed.”  Rin blinks up at Mikoshiba’s matter-of-fact tone and then looks to where Ai is laughing at some joke that Haru, of all people, had made.  “But he’s strong and positive and wants nothing more than to be happy and have the people he cares about be happy.  He doesn’t regret it, you know.”  Rin can tell it’s true.  It still hurts his former roommate.  It’s obvious in the way his eyes dull a little when Rin talks to him and the way he shies away from Rin almost imperceptibly.  But he still talks to Rin and laughs when they start talking about the past.  

Rin wants nothing more than to see Ai happy as well and he tells Mikoshiba as much before wondering out loud if he had been too hasty in his rejection that day.

 

“You called me Ai.”  He accuses Mikoshiba as they walk towards the train station.

“I did.  Did that bother you?”

“No it’s just,” Ai pauses and looks up at the stars for a moment, “I don’t know if I can reciprocate.”  

His words could mean that Ai doesn’t know if he can call him by his first name - not everyone is comfortable being that close to other people.  But Mikoshiba knows that Ai understands what it means; the reason he called him Ai and not Nitori.  Ai understands very well the kinds of feelings behind Mikoshiba’s actions.

“I can keep calling you Nitori if you prefer.”  Mikoshiba gets it.  He had been wanting to talk about it for awhile now but it had been less than a year since Ai had confessed to Rin and Mikoshiba can never figure out how to approach the subject.

Ai shakes his head.  “No it’s ok.”  He says softly.

“Tell you what.  You can call me Sei if you ever start to feel the same way.  Til then just being Mikoshiba is fine with me.”  And Ai knows it’s true.  He also knows that even if Mikoshiba has feelings for him they won’t stop the other man from being happy.  

Ai has time.

Even between studying for exams and stressing over his future.  He has time.  He talks to Rin, meets with him for coffee, swims with him.  He stops by Mikoshiba’s to unwind and to study.

He still has time.

 

He didn’t really expect anyone to be around this late.  The ceremony had ended hours ago and he was just wandering the school grounds one last time before he left.  He had finally done it.  He had followed Mikoshiba and Rin and graduated with fairly high marks, leaving behind a hole on the swim team that it would take awhile to completely fill.  Ai wondered briefly if he had managed to make an impact on any hearts the way Rin had done to him.

“Congratulations, Ai.”  The voice comes from the trees behind the natatorium and Ai nearly jumps out of his skin.  A tall figure waves at him and he jogs over and wraps the taller man in a bone crushing hug.

It’s been a year since he first found himself wrapped in these arms.

He’s used up all his time and that’s okay with him.

“Thank you, Sei,” he whispers.

 


End file.
